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Daily Archives: November 13, 2008

FW: Things You Can Only Say at Thanksgiving

 

Things you can only say at Thanksgiving!
           1. Talk about a huge breast!
           2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
           3. It’s Cool Whip time!
           4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
           5. Whew, that’s one terrific spread!
           6. I’m in the mood for dark meat.
           7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
           8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
           9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some.
           10. Don’t play with your meat.
           11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
           12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
           13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
           14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
           15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
           16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
           17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!
           18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!
           19. How long do I beat it before it’s ready?
           Happy Thanksgiving!!!      Pilgrim


Before printing this e-mail – is it necessary? Think Green / Avant d’imprimer ce courriel, est ce nécessaire ? Pensez environnement.

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Posted by on November 13, 2008 in Jokes

 

FW: Why go to Church?

 

Why go to Church? (This is good)

If you’re spiritually alive, you’re going to love this! If you’re

spiritually dead, you won’t want to read it. If you’re spiritually

curious, there is still hope!

Why Go To Church?

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and

complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I’ve

gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard

something like 3,000 sermons.

But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them. So, I

think I am wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by

giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column,

much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone

wrote this clincher:

"I’ve been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked

some 32000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire

menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this.. They all

nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my

wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today.

Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be

spiritually dead today!" When you are DOWN to nothing…. God is UP to

something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives

the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

All right, now that you’re done reading, send it on! I think everyone

should read this!  "When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,

"Jesus, could you get that for me?"

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2008 in Family