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Monthly Archives: November 2008

FW: Noise Complaint at Luke AZ

 

Luke AFB is west of Phoenix and is rapidly being surrounded by civilization that
complains about the noise from the base and its planes, forgetting that it was
there long before they were.
A certain lieutenant colonel at Luke AFB deserves a big pat on the back.
Apparently, an individual who lives somewhere near Luke AFB wrote the local
paper complaining about a group of F-16s that disturbed his/her day at the mall.
When that individual read the response from a Luke AFB officer, it must have
stung quite a bit.
The complaint:
‘Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base:
Whom do we thank for the morning air show? Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11
A.M, a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall,
continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet. Imagine our good
fortune! Do the Tom Cruise-wannabes feel we need this wake-up call, or were they
trying to
impres s the cashiers at Mervyns early bird special? Any response would be
appreciated.
The response:
Regarding ‘A wake-up call from Luke’s jets’ On June 15, at precisely 9:12 a.m.,
a perfectly timed four- ship fly by of F-16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at
Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt. Jeremy Fresques.
Capt Fresques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke Air
Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day.
At 9 a. m. on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park
in Sun City to mourn the loss
of a husband, son and friend.
Based on the letter writer’s recount of the fly by, and because of the jet
noise, I’m sure you didn’t hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my
words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son’s flag
on behalf of the President of the United States and all those veterans and
serv icemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured.
A four-ship fly by is a display of respect the Air Force gives to those who give
their lives in defense of freedom.
We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what
the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate
respects.
The letter writer asks, ‘Whom do we thank for the morning air show? The 56th
Fighter Wing will make the call for you, and forward your thanks to the widow
and
parents of Capt Fresques, and thank them for you, for it was in their honor
that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.
Only 2 defining forces have ever offered to die for you…..Jesus Christ and the
American Soldier.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
Lt. Col. Grant L. Rosensteel, Jr.
USAF


Before printing this e-mail – is it necessary? Think Green / Avant d’imprimer ce courriel, est ce nécessaire ? Pensez environnement.

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Posted by on November 21, 2008 in Litter to the Editor

 

FW: Why I fired my Secretary.

 

Why I fired my Secretary.
Last week was my birthday
and I didn’t feel very well
waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
‘Happy Birthday!’,
and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
‘ Happy Birthday.’
I thought…
Well, that’s marriage for you,
but the kids…
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn’t say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
‘Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday! ‘
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, ‘You know,
It’s such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.’
I said, ‘Thanks, Jane,
that’s the greatest thing
I’ve heard all day.
Let’s go !’
We went to lunch.
But we didn’t go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, ‘You know,
It’s such a beautiful day…
We don’t need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?’
I responded,
‘I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?’
She said,
‘Let’s drop by my apartment,
it’s just around the corner.’


After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
‘ Boss, if you don’t mind,
I’m going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I’ll be right back.’
‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake …
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.


And I just sat there…
On the couch…
Naked.



Before printing this e-mail – is it necessary? Think Green / Avant d’imprimer ce courriel, est ce nécessaire ? Pensez environnement.

 
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Posted by on November 19, 2008 in Jokes

 

Fw: F A M I L Y

 

Subject: F A M I L Y
F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
‘Oh excuse me please’ was my reply.
He said, ‘Please excuse me too;
I wasn’t watching for you.’
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
‘Move out of the way,’ I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God’s still small voice came to me and said,
‘While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You’ll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.’
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
‘Wake up, little one, wake up,’ I said.< /SPAN>
‘Are these the flowers you picked for me?’
He smiled , ‘I found ’em, out by the tree.
I picked ’em because they’re pretty like you.
I knew you’d like ’em, especially the blue.’
I said, ‘Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.’
He said, ‘Oh, Mom, that’s okay.
I love you anyway..’
I said, ‘Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.’
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don’t you think?
So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

 
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Posted by on November 15, 2008 in Family

 

FW: Things You Can Only Say at Thanksgiving

 

Things you can only say at Thanksgiving!
           1. Talk about a huge breast!
           2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
           3. It’s Cool Whip time!
           4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
           5. Whew, that’s one terrific spread!
           6. I’m in the mood for dark meat.
           7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
           8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
           9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some.
           10. Don’t play with your meat.
           11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
           12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
           13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
           14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
           15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
           16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
           17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!
           18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!
           19. How long do I beat it before it’s ready?
           Happy Thanksgiving!!!      Pilgrim


Before printing this e-mail – is it necessary? Think Green / Avant d’imprimer ce courriel, est ce nécessaire ? Pensez environnement.

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2008 in Jokes

 

FW: Why go to Church?

 

Why go to Church? (This is good)

If you’re spiritually alive, you’re going to love this! If you’re

spiritually dead, you won’t want to read it. If you’re spiritually

curious, there is still hope!

Why Go To Church?

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and

complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I’ve

gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard

something like 3,000 sermons.

But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them. So, I

think I am wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by

giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column,

much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone

wrote this clincher:

"I’ve been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked

some 32000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire

menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this.. They all

nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my

wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today.

Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be

spiritually dead today!" When you are DOWN to nothing…. God is UP to

something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives

the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

All right, now that you’re done reading, send it on! I think everyone

should read this!  "When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,

"Jesus, could you get that for me?"

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2008 in Family

 

FW: This is why I forward jokes

 

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was

enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had

been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one

side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill,

it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the

arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate

looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he

got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, ‘Excuse me, where are

we?’

‘This is Heaven, sir,’ the man answered.

‘Wow! Would you happen to have some water?’ the man asked.

‘Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water

brought right up.’

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

‘Can my friend,’ gesturing toward his dog, ‘come in, too?’ the

traveler asked.

‘I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.’

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road

and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill,

he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it

had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against

a tree and reading a book.

‘Excuse me!’ he called to the man. ‘Do you have any water?’

‘Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.’

‘How about my friend here?’ the traveler gestured to the dog.

‘There should be a bowl by the pump.’

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an

old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink

himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man

who was standing by the tree.

‘What do you call this place?’ the traveler asked. ‘This is

Heaven,’ he answered.

‘Well, that’s confusing,’ the traveler said. ‘The man down the

road said that was Heaven, too.’

‘Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?

Nope. That’s hell.’

‘Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?’

‘No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would

leave their best friends behind.’

Soooo ..Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes

to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess

what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact,

you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t

know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are

still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what

you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don’t think that you’ve been

sent just another forwarded joke, but that you’ve been thought of today

and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a

smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime

 
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Posted by on November 8, 2008 in Family

 

Meaning of Flag Draped Coffin

 

 


From: gentle@citlink.net
To: ;
Subject: Meaning of Flag Draped Coffin
Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2008 09:46:26 -0500

Meaning of Flag Draped Coffin

All Americans should be given this lesson. Those who think that   America  is an arrogant nation should really reconsider that thought. Our founding fathers used GOD’s word and teachings to establish our Great Nation and I think it’s high time Americans get re-educated about this Nation’s history. Pass it along and be proud of the country we live in and even more proud of those who serve to protect our ‘GOD GIVEN’ rights and freedoms.


I hope you take the time to read this … To understand what the flag draped coffin really means … Here is how to understand the flag that laid upon it and is surrendered to so many widows and widowers.


Do you know that at military funerals, the 21-gun salute stands for the sum of the numbers in the year 1776?
!cid_1_2286156861@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo

Have you ever noticed the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the United States of America  Flag 13 times? You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!
The 1st fold of the flag is a symbol of life
.
!cid_2_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo

The 2nd fold is a symbol of the belief in eternal life.

!cid_3_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo

The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing the ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of the country to attain peace throughout the world.
!cid_4_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo
The 4th fold represents the weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.
!cid_5_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo
The 5th fold is a tribute to the country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, ‘Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.’
!cid_6_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo
The 6th fold is for where people’s hearts lie. It is with their heart that They pledge allegiance to the flag of the   United States Of America  , and the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with   Liberty  and Justice for all.
The 7th fold is a tribute to its Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that they protect their country and their flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of their republic.
!cid_7_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo
The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.
!cid_8_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo
The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers. For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.
The 10th fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of their country since they were first born.
!cid_9_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo

The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

!cid_10_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo
The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.

The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding them of their nations motto, ‘In God We Trust.’

!cid_11_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo
After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for them the rights, privileges and freedoms they enjoy today.
There are some traditions and ways of doing things that have deep meaning. In the future, you’ll see flags folded and now you will know why.
Share this with the children you love and all others who love what is referred to, the symbol of ‘   Liberty  and Freedom.’

!cid_12_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo  

MAYBE THE SUPREME COURT SHOULD READ THIS EXPLANATION BEFORE THEY RENDER THEIR DECISION ON THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.

FORWARD IT; MAYBE SOMEONE WITH THE NECESSARY POWER, OR POLITICAL AND FINANCIAL INFLUENCE, WILL GET IT TO THEM.
IN THE MEANTIME, MAY GOD PROTECT US ALWAYS.
!cid_13_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahooONE NATION, UNDER GOD, WITH  LIBERTY  AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.

!cid_14_2286156862@web46102_mail_sp1_yahoo

 
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Posted by on November 5, 2008 in Family