RSS

Daily Archives: October 22, 2008

FW: the Nun

 

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the  cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver  won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is  sta ring. He replies: ‘I have a question to  ask you but I don’t want to offend you.’ She  answers, ‘My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as  old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you  get a chance to see and
hear just about  everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing  you could say or ask that I would find  offensive.’ ‘Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a  nun kiss me.’ She responds, ‘Well, let’s see what  we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2,  you must be Catholic.’ The cab driver is very excited  and says, ‘Yes, I’m single and Catholic!’ ‘OK’ the  nun says. ‘Pull into the next alley.’ The nun fulfills  his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker  blush.
But when they get back on t he road, the cab  driver starts crying. ‘My dear child,’ says the nun,  ‘why are you crying?’ ‘Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I  lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m  Jewish.’ The nun says, ‘That’s OK. My name is  Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween  party.’ 


.

Advertisements
 
Comments Off on FW: the Nun

Posted by on October 22, 2008 in Jokes

 

Fw: Installing a Husband

 

 


INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support
,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in over all system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
·
Romance 9….5 and=2 0
·
Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
·
CRICKET 5.0,
·
FOOTBALL 3.0 and
·
DOMINO 4.1.
Conversation 8.0
no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
·
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,

Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE
,
First, keep in mind,
·
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
·
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTML and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the
Guilt 3.0 update.
·
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2. 0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
**** Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Gas and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do,
DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program.  These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Best Wishes Babe!
Tech Support


 
Comments Off on Fw: Installing a Husband

Posted by on October 22, 2008 in Jokes